Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Losing a Loved One

Losing a loved one is hard. It doesn't matter who it is, a family member, a friend, or in my case my little Maltese Missy.

Let me tell you a little bit about her. Missy was born in 2003. She was rescued by my mother from a coworker who would have made her into an outside dog (She was clearly not cut out for that). I was 8 at this time and had always wanted a pet that would stay. Now my Mother was in the middle of her first divorce to my Father and Missy really helped me through everything, I even held her as I cried.

Skip ahead to 2010. I knew that there was something very wrong with my Grandpa just how he was acting and talking wasn't right. When we moved in with my Grandma and Grandpa after my mom decided that she was leaving my Stepdad, we noticed my dogs (China and Missy) sitting next to him all of the time. Missy would sit in his lap or on the arm of the chair while China sat at his feet. On October 19th 2010 I lost my grandfather to cancer of an unknown origin.

Missy was there when I cried, when I found myself really depressed and lonely, my whole world had just been turned upside down. Later that year, I had gone through something traumatic and she was there for me. She saw me graduate Elementary, Middle and High school.

She was a sassy little dog, when she laid down on the couch and watched TV with us, she would curl into a ball or lay straight but crossed her front paws. Watching her walk was just funny, again with the Sass. She would shake her hips back and fourth not caring about the world. She had her bad sides though. She didn't like lightning and thunder, she would shake so badly that she would overheat and would hyperventilate pretty much. She also didn't like little kids. hated them and wanted to tear them to shreds. It was funny and a bit concerning at times.

At night when we all went to bed we would go into our rooms and at one time she slept with me in my room along with China. Missy would sleep next to my head and China by my feet. It made me feel safe and secure. She stopped when we had moved to our current apartment. It was her being in my Moms room that comforted her.

Then one day, she wasn't herself. She wasn't eating, her gums and tongue were white and she couldn't walk. I told my mom that we had to go to the vet that night after I picked up my paycheck. She wasn't my dog on that car trip. She wasn't excited to see out the window, she couldn't even hold her head up to look out the window. Her eyes were big, but I could see, she wasn't there, she had given up.

When we get to the Emergency Vet she was warm in her green blanket that was on my bed. It was hard to give her over to the nurse. My heart broke. After about three hours of trying to get financials figured out. We decided that we would euthanize her that night. On January 15, 2015, she passed away in my mothers arms.

Losing her is hard for me. She had been there for me for more than half of my 20 year old life. I have had to try and change habits i have had for years (Like grabbing two treats instead of one, Trying not to call China, Missy by accident or just wanting to look for her when I know she is gone.) I had hope that she would get better, she didn't. I was hoping that I would be able to take her home, watch a movie, and have her play around with my other dog. I cried for the next three days. I am still hurting today, but there are no more tears to cry. There are only hopes that she is with my Grandpa running around on a big green lawn with some of my past dogs that I have owned.

It doesn't matter if it is a human, or an animal, they are part of your family and it is hard either way. You have lost apart of yourself when they died.

Now as we kick back and relax with our sweet tea, lets reflect upon what I have said here today.

No comments:

Post a Comment